everything else in between

The winter days are shorter indeed. 

We wake up and somewhere in between playing doctor to stuffed animals, eating pretend "shpa-netthi", going on a long bike ride pulling the baby trailer behind me, I quickly lose track of the day. Where did my day go?   

And how have I managed to not talk to a single adult until 6:00 when Jake gets home?

Don't be confused. I am not complaining.  

From the time I felt Violet's first little flutter of a kick in my belly I imagined having conversations with her.  

I thought of all the funny things I thought she might say, singing songs together, dancing, and teaching her everything I know under the sun. 

 And now that day is here, I think: Is there anything better than this?

Sure, a LOT of days are harder than others. We have three first born children living under one roof. That's three people trying to boss each other around. 

Tempers flair, tears are shed, and it seems like we are all trying to negotiate our way ( I'm not just talking about Violet. We ALL are hard headed in this family).

 With graduate school starting again in January I am reminded even more, that this time in our lives in short.

 I desperately absorb, the tempers, negotiations, tears, singing, dancing, laughing 

 and everything in between.


And even then, I can't imagine anything better.

shake on it.

Violet: I want Joe's O's (Cheerios from Trader Joe's) for breakfast!

Me: I just made you oatmeal, we can have Joe's O's later.

note: why do most of our disagreements stem from oatmeal??

Violet: NO!! I WANT JOE'S O'S!

Me: When you finish your oatmeal I'll give you some Joe's O's, okay?

Violet: okay...

Me: Shake on it... (extending my hand to my two year old in agreement.)

Violet: Walks away shaking her entire body in agreement.

Me: ....

 "I don't like sharing." she tells me. 

"I understand", I respond

"Sharing can be difficult for everyone." 

 " I  don't like oatmeal." she continues

"I'm sorry you don't like oatmeal, that is what I made for breakfast today. Tomorrow I will cook something else."

"I don't like something else", she reasons

"...And I don't like daddy, and I pushed Sophia!"

"I understand you are upset with Dad, no matter what he loves you. You did push Sophia. What happened when you pushed her?"

 "I don't like TIME OUT!!"

in the time of your life..

Every parent wishes they had just one day more with their little one, in whatever stage they are in. It seems like each milestone they hit couldn't get better. Parenting is a funny place of hoping for the future and longing for the past (even if they are only 14 months old).  Hollie over at and baby makes three put it so eloquently well. I've written a few letters to Violet that I keep tucked away in her baby journal. This letter is from me, but written by one of my favorite authors, William Saroyan.

14 months

don't mess with a chavoorgen

I need to vent about this one more time and then I think I'll be done with it. Let me set up the scene:

It's a typical Tuesday afternoon in Kern County. Extremely hot, muggy, the sky seems to be even more grey than normal. Kathleen is venturing out of Shafter with Violet for their scheduled "two week check up".

Important/Non important facts:

1. Kathleen was told she shouldn't be driving for at least six weeks. It's been two.
2. Violet's car seat seems to weight 157 lbs
3. Violet's primary doctor is out of town, so she will be seeing Dr. French (whom she has never has met) for this particular appointment.
4. Kathleen pictures Dr. French in a black and white stripped shirt with a red french barret

1:32 pm Kathleen and Violet patiently await the parisian doctor in the waiting room.

1:38 pm In walks Dr. French. Approxmently 45 years old. African American, was not wearing french barret, or striped shirt... also, no french accent. She also had elf ears.


Dr. French: "What are feeding your child??"
NO INTRODUCTION what-so-ever

Kathleen: "uhh well, I am pumping about 3 bottles of breast milk a day and supplementing her with formula"

Dr. French: " WHY?"

Kathleen: explains in full detail (I'm sparing you the nitty gritty)

Dr. French: "Well she looks kind of BIG, she's gained alot of weight"

Kathleen: "um.. well, I feed her when she wants to be fed. Are you saying she is over weight?"

Dr. French: "No, no, that's not what I'm saying. She needs to only be fed on the breast. Here is what I suggest, try not feeding her for two days straight, then she won't have any other option but to breast feed."

Kathleen: "You don't want me to feed her for whole days?"

Dr. French: " Yes, it's not like she is going to DIE you know..."



We shake our fists at you Dr. French...

Thank Goodness for Grandma Grace!

I am so thankful my Mom was able to help me the first week of Violet's arrival. She took the hardest night shift, made me delicious food, drove back and forth to Bakersfield for odds and ends and doctors appointments, let me shower when I needed it most, told me to relax when I got out of hand, changed more than her fair share of diapers, washed my dishes, folded my laundry,and even cleaned out my closet. Thanks Mom for all your help!

We also are really missing Ruth during this new time in life. In transition from surgery I imagined her in the waiting room with the rest of the family. I pictured her, laughing and joking with my Mom, giving Greg a hard time, maybe even sneaking into the post op. room before she was suppose to.

Even though Oma Ruth isn't able to be with us now, imagining her joy has made me feel closer to her than I have ever felt before.

You, Me, and Violet Makes Three

Violet Ruth Bergen 6 lbs 4 oz